like a car wash

Quote of the day:

I'm all done in 3 minutes and then i'm outta there

It amazes me how often i don't yell " THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" here at work...

When life imitates art.

One of my coworkers and i created a song parody substituting the new program we're forced to use. Its both epic and sad. A complete reflection of working here.

a distinct feeling of irony

Robert [1:21 PM]:
Yeah, its the new Microsoft suite with A.I.

Ashley [1:21 PM]:
What does A.I. stand for?

Ashley [1:21 PM]:
american idol?

Robert [1:22 PM]:
please tell me youre joking
......
.......
.......

Ashley [1:22 PM]:
lol....
maybe?

Robert [1:22 PM]:
dear god

Ashley [1:22 PM]:
LOL what does AI stand for?

Robert [1:22 PM]:
A.rtificial I.ntellegence

Ashley [1:23 PM]:
oh i think i knew that

Robert [1:23 PM]:
i just don't even know what to say right now

And in this corner....

Ashley [12:05 PM]:
at least SOMEONE cares that their order entry representative be fueled.

Robert [12:06 PM]:
hell, you dont do any of my orders, what do i care how fueled you are? :)
lol

Ashley [12:06 PM]:
once again: 'eff you.

Robert [12:07 PM]:
i respect you as a coworker to Ash.

Ashley [12:07 PM]:
i would respect you more if you used the correct form of to in that sentence

Robert [12:08 PM]:
i would respect you more if you stopped whoring yourself out. I would call it a draw.

Ashley [12:08 PM]:
hahahahahahha wow!!!!

More: Real stories from Office Communicator

Ashley [1:05 PM]:
apparently deb thinks im like the funniest person ever

Bob [1:05 PM]:
really?

Ashley [1:06 PM]:
everytime im talking to hillary she giggles in the background

Bob [1:15 PM]:
that s wierd, cause i always thought you were super unfunny
unless shes looking at you, then it makes sense

Ashley [1:17 PM]:
OUCCCCCCCCCHHHHH

Bob [1:17 PM]:
:)

Ashley [1:17 PM]:
**fist pound**

Bob [1:18 PM]:
ah shucks, im just here givin it 110%

Ashley [1:19 PM]:
if only you put as much effort into your work as you do into making fun of me you'd be a KAR in no time

Bob[1:19 PM]:
hell, i'd be CEO

This is of high importance:

This is an actual Office messanger conversation that just happened at work


Ashley [11:59 AM]:
why is this of high importance now?
Bob [12:00 PM]:
i think i accudentally clicked something.... and.....
youre dying
Ashley [12:00 PM]:
oh crap
i dont want this to be the last place i see
Bob[12:01 PM]:
i would have told you face to face, but i thought making an IM as high importance was pretty much the same thing
Ashley [12:01 PM]:
yeah it's just as good
i think im gonna get called tomorrow for tomorrow...will i be dead by then?
Bob [12:02 PM]:
are you being philosophical?
Ashley [12:02 PM]:
whoops one too many tomorrows and no i dont mean called by the lord
Bob[12:02 PM]:
lol
Ashley [12:02 PM]:
i mean by erie county
bob [12:02 PM]:
same thing
Ashley [12:02 PM]:
hahahahah
Bob[12:03 PM]:
um, no, youre goin to make it thru jury duty
Ashley [12:03 PM]:
oh, of course i am.
Bob [12:03 PM]:
then pass away, because it will give you perspective that hell isnt so bad

s-t-r-e-s-s

The most stressful part of the workday isn't a new customer call, or meetings.

Its that half second when youre not sure if the bag/bar is going to fully fall from the vending machine after you select it.

The stress is taking years off my life.