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Monday, December 15, 2008

A long long time ago...

The gym upstairs at work has six different weight machines, and 3 of them have been broken for a month or two now. This would be surprising, except for the fact that all of them might have been made as part or roosevelts goverment job building programs of the 1930's...

Thursday, December 11, 2008

So how about that netting...

May i have your attention please:
Spit guards will now be required for all people who are close talkers. Thanks you.

I'm #1 !!! I'm #1! !!

My coworker just told me that i'm number 1.

Thats what the middle finger is for, right?

There's a wall between us....

So i got a sneak peak at the newly remodled bathroom here at work, and there has never been anything more exciting in my work life. There is now a wall between were people shower and where i can use the bathroom.

I never have to worry about losing my appetite again!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

2 + 2 = a long walk

There is a gym here at work that i try to go up to and exercise twice a week.

I bring this up only because everyday i'm willing to circle the parking lots for hours looking for a parking space 20 feet closer.

A Reverse Stripper

I was bet $5 by a coworker that i wouldn't wear this ridiculously ugly velvet christmas vest around for the day. How childish, right? who pays people in singles...

Monday, December 8, 2008

Also inappropriate for Foriegn Policy:

They say that honesty is the best policy, but that might not apply when telling a sales rep that I'll just mess up there clients orders enough times so that they have to do it themselves, and that way of thinking is a general strategy of mine.

Lets do, the time warp, again!

You definately know you're late when the people who start there shift 30 minutes after you are there before you...

Now if i can just stop this from happening the 20 or 25 times a year that it does...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

That einstein sure was Einstein-y

Albert Einstein defined insanity as "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

This comes to mind today as one of my coworkers asked the same question three times in a row, and all three times got the same exact answer. Maybe he meant that it will drive the other people crazy...

The king and his Castle

So with the current recession, there have been whisperings and mumbling about upcoming firings, or "layoffs" as they are politely called, and i decided that it won't be me who is fired.

Not because of some awesome work productivity, or excellent communication skills, but because the Jester never gets fired by the Royal family, and i'm the enetertainment.